


Remus' Diary

by starlocked



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Embarrassment, Food, Gen, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlocked/pseuds/starlocked
Summary: Bickering brothers and Patton's own misstep accidentally inspire an addition to the communal mindpalace kitchen.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	Remus' Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. Yes I did reference Potter Puppet Pals and My Little Pony in the same fic. Sue me.  
> Also Tagging on mobile is a joke I'm going to update the tags when I can. Sorry :(

"Hey Jan! Look what I found in a locked trunk under the bed in Roman's room!" Remus squealed with delight, interrupting whatever peace Janus had managed to find.

"A book? Honestly, Remus, was it worth the effort?" Janus sighed as he looked up at the excited side.

"You don't think it's weird Roman can read? Huh. Anyway, this isn't just any book!  _ It's his diary _ ," Remus bounced excitedly, shaking glitter, deodorant crumbs, and unknown debris all over the carpet, "do you know how long I've been waiting to get my hands on this? I had to give him the ol' surprise bop to get it too. We gotta read it!"

Roman awoke to a throbbing lump on the back of his head and immediately sought out his pest of a brother. The knowing smirks from the troublesome pair and the annotations of his personal thoughts- right on the pages!- threw him into a rage. What gave any of the dark sides the RIGHT to read and comment in his  ~~ diary ~~ journal? Any more snooping and Remus might have found the list too. After retrieving his property, Roman returned to his room and hatched the perfect form of revenge.

* * *

"Oops! Logan, what have I told you about leaving books on the stairs, kiddo?" Patton chuckled to himself as he bent down to pick up the misplaced tome. 

The quiet amusement on his face faded into confusion as he examined the book. This didn't look like Logan’s neat handwriting that he used to record everything Thomas had ever learned. Nor did it look like Roman’s excited scrawl for capturing every flight of fancy that drew Thomas' attention. Patton certainly had never seen this book before, and he would have assumed it was Virgil’s except it wasn't the precise black font that Virgil would redo a hundred times until it looked perfect. 

This book was full of colorful chicken scratch; Patton could not make out a single word for the life of him. He flipped through more pages, utterly curious. His eyes lit up at the first doodle of a small yapping dog. It was just so precious! The words became slightly more legible, but more often they were replaced with doodles and illustrations. Patton was starting to get the idea whose book this was and frankly he felt like a proud papa all over again. Each page brought a soft gasp or happy "aww!" and Patton knew exactly what to do.

* * *

"Why is there a book mounted on the refrigerator?" Logan stood there staring, utterly thrown off his morning routine by the above average nonsense. He couldn’t even begin to fathom which side would disrespect literature to such an absurd degree.

"I don't know why, all I know is that Patton put it there," Virgil intoned from his perch on top of the fridge. 

"You didn't ask him?" Logan peered up at the anxious side, still not comprehending why Patton would do such a thing, nor why Virgil would sit in such a difficult to reach position.

"And give pops a heart attack? He didn't know I was up here," Virgil shrugged, "it's just Remus' old notebook. I already looked."

Logan looked puzzled and flipped through the pages. He was surprised to find several illustrations of each of the sides as stick figures, each in their usual color, engaged in various normal and fun activities with a green stick figure that must be Remus. The drawings got more and more intricate the farther he flipped until they practically rivaled Roman’s.

There wasn't any gore or violence, just drawings of them all getting along. Logan found it interesting that young Remus had wanted friendship with them all this time, until he flipped a page and the black drawings of Virgil now included his signature purple.

"Are we sure this isn't a current notebook?" Logan asked softly. He looked up to see Virgil give him a questioning eyebrow raise. He pointed to the purple in the drawing, "this one has to be a few years old at most, not from childhood."

Roman and Patton came walking into the kitchen together, talking animatedly about Thomas' latest crush. Roman smiled up at Virgil, still incredibly thankful, before his eyes were drawn to the object of Logan’s focus. Oh this was even better than he'd expected.

"Oh Logan! Isn't it precious??" Patton squealed, pushing Logan out of the way in his excitement as he flipped through the pages, "look at this one isn't that just the cutest?"

"Patton, are you trying to humiliate Remus? I know you don't approve of most of his suggestions but-" Logan was cut off by a hellish shriek that could only mean one thing. Remus had noticed the book's absence.

Roman snickered as Remus appeared in the kitchen in a burst of green flames. The laughter quickly died as Remus raised a butcher knife and jumped at Roman.

"WHERE IS IT YOU THIEF?" Remus held the knife high as he grabbed Roman by the collar. Virgil hissed from the top of the fridge, ready to pounce and the other two were frozen in shock. Roman quickly pointed to the fridge and pulled himself free of Remus' grasp when his brother looked.

Remus' face paled and then flushed bright red in embarrassment and anger, "I know you hate me, but this is too far," his voice trembled and each side was paralyzed as black thoughts of destruction and gore forced themselves to the top of Thomas' mind.

" **Enough** !" Virgil's voice rebounded and cut through the violence, giving the others a chance to regain themselves. Patton whimpered and shook his head to clear away the memory and Logan stood up straighter, mentally preparing for a battle of wits. "What are you even upset about? It's just a bunch of drawings of all of us."

"It's my private notebook! Why would you steal it and put it where everyone can read it, Roman?" Remus turned to raise the knife again but Patton reached out to grab his shoulder.

"No, kiddo, this is my fault. I- found your book and I was- well I don't know I guess- I was proud of your artwork; the most recent stuff is gorgeous! And good art… belongs on the… fridge," he finished lamely.

"Kiddo? Proud? But-" the knife dropped harmlessly to the floor. "Why???"

"Revenge," Roman cut Patton off before he could respond, "I mean you literally assaulted me and ransacked my room. I didn't expect Padre to take it this far, but I might have planted the diary where he'd find it."

"Bwha-? Roman, why would you stoop so low?" Patton asked in a disappointed voice.

"Yes, good posture is important, I mean look no further than Virgil for proof-" Logan was cut off by another hiss as Virgil dropped from the top of the fridge down to the floor. 

"Look, this was cute. Glad to see you're not trying to murder us in your diary, Rem," with a crack Virgil pulled the book off the fridge and shoved it in Remus' hands, "now please go bother Dee or something. I don't want to be working overtime today because of you, Dukey."

"Well now I wanna be a nuisance, Twenty One Panics," Remus grinned, flipping through his notebook, "especially if any of you think this means I'm going soft."

"Remus, I think it's really sweet that you want to be friends! I'm sure we can work things out with practice," Patton tried to reassure him but Remus shook him off.

"Puppies turned inside out. Bye bitches!" Remus sunk out quickly as the horrified look settled on Patton's face.

"Well that was fun!" Roman grinned nervously. 

"You get to deal with whatever comes next, Princey," Virgil rolled his eyes and sunk out of the kitchen, already dreading a long day.

Logan just rolled his eyes and tried to pick up where he'd left his morning routine. Roman grumbled and walked out to the dining room table, slumping down with a dramatic huff.

Patton was pretty sure Roman would be okay and tried to go about his day, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the drawings in Remus' notebook. Maybe he just wasn't trying to love the difficult side hard enough…

* * *

"Ooh are these white chip macadamia nut, Patton?" Roman grinned, reaching for a cookie off the cooling rack.

"No! These are for Remus!" Patton lovingly swatting at Roman's hand with a spatula.

"I'm his brother, close enough!" Roman shook the pained hand while reaching again with his other hand.

"Well those aren't white chocolate. These cookies are  _ for Remus _ ," Patton tried to emphasize so Roman would take the hint. 

Roman absolutely did not take the hint. He grabbed one and took a large bite, smile quickly turning to gagging.

"Those aren't baked goods- those are baked bads!" Roman retched into the sink.

"I tried to warn you, kiddo. Listen to your pops next time," Patton chuckled and pat Roman on the back, collecting all the cookies on a serving plate, "I'll be back later, try to stay out of trouble, okay?"

Roman only nodded, turning on the faucet and trying to wash the deodorant taste from his mouth.

Patton gulped at the door to Remus' room. Did it have to be  _ dripping _ ? Patton screwed together his courage and reached out to knock on the squishy looking barrier, "this isn't about your comfort, Pat. You've got to do this."

"So then what is it about?" Patton spun around at the unexpected and unmistakable voice behind him. 

"Remus! I brought you cookies!" Patton grinned wide and held out the plate.

"How do I know these aren't poisoned?" Remus asked with a hard edge of suspicion in his voice.

"Well they technically are-" 

"Perfect!" Remus snatched the plate and shoved an entire cookie in his mouth, "deoworanh? Awwww ou fvouldnd av!" Patton winced as deodorant cookie spit flew from Remus' full mouth.

"I'm glad you like them, kiddo," his voice was strained and he mentally repeated his mantra for this mission:  _ Patience is a Virtue. _

"So why you bringing me cookies, Mr. Holier-than-thou?" Remus accused as he stuffed another cookie in his mouth. 

Patton winced and took a deep breath, "as an apology-- and as an invitation!" he finished in a rush as Remus chewed with the vague approximation of a thoughtful expression. Remus motioned for Patton to continue so he did softly, "I'm sorry about displaying your diary without checking with you first. I am really impressed by your artistic style- but that's not the point. I should have asked. I didn't think you'd be embarrassed."

"I mean dads are supposed to be embarrassing right? I just didn't think you considered me one of your kids," Remus grinned.

"Well, whatever anyone's objections-"

"Your objections."

"Yes, despite my objections you are one of us, Remus. I want to make a better effort to include you," Patton smiled warmly at the other side.

"What if I like being the outsider? It's more fun when you can't see me coming!" Remus grinned wickedly and moved to open his door behind Patton.

"Families can still have black sheep, but that doesn't mean they aren't part of the flock," Patton shifted from in front of the door as Remus brushed past him. The briefest glance inside was enough to convince him to stay outside, at least for now. "I know it will be an adjustment but I really-"

Remus stepped back out of his room and shoved a piece of paper in Patton’s hands. Patton looked down confused and felt an odd mixture of terror and pride. The new drawing of the famILY was technically wonderful- it would give Roman a run for his money- but absolutely Remus' brand of bizarre, "no more stolen diaries on the fridge- more of these delicious cookies and you've got yourself a new kiddo, dork Vater," Remus grinned and disappeared back into his room without waiting for a response.

Patton looked at the gifted drawing and knew exactly what to do.

* * *

Not long after Patton hung Remus' famILY portrait on the fridge, Roman had drawn up his own version that was hung up next to it. It took a little thinking but Patton conjured up several magnetic words and letters, leaving a note that these were for Logan to craft fridge poetry. He also conjured up several tiny magnetic colored cubes for Virgil to arrange into careful patterns. After a few weeks, Janus requested that Patton _not_ consider a whiteboard and markers for everyone to share their thoughts or quotes to muse over, which Patton found to be an excellent addition as long as Remus' phallic additions were quickly erased. 

Now everytime Patton turned to the fridge while cooking or sneaking snacks, he was reminded of each of the sides and felt immeasurably proud of his kiddos. They were still one unit, even if this was all going to take more than just a decorated fridge to figure out.


End file.
